Out of tune

How are you?

I hope you are fine. 

I hope you are still able to see the sunshine through the dark clouds.

I hope the small things make you smile today.

Like the left over dessert that you didn't finish from dinner.

or the cup of coffee that you look forward to every morning.

or the random baby videos that popped up on your explore page.

or simply sleeping in for an extra 30 minutes this morning.

I hope quarantine hasn't changed you for the worse. I hope it brings you an opportunity to write a list of 1000 things you can do at home, perhaps publish it one day and make it to the list of authors of the year. Hey, you never know. I hope you find this moment to bring you closer to your family or to discover new sides of you but mostly important to see it as an opportunity and not an adversity.(talking to myself) I hope no matter how funny quarantine has made you feel, I hope you are okay :)

It's  a strange time to be living in. So many changes happening in such a short time. So many new sides that are discovered. So much time for reflection. Too much time, in fact. 2020 has been quite the rollercoaster and that's an understatement.

I literally went from baking banana cakes and making dalgona coffee to hitting rock bottom and jumped sky rocket and now i'm just in a pool of confusion and trying to go with the flow. I'm in a continuous debate with myself in which I'm trying to convince that getting my degree scroll from the bed isn't a bad idea.

Do I like what I'm becoming? To be honest, not really. I feel like I've been so out of tune with myself. I can't remember the last time when I truly felt like myself. Well, perhaps a moment ago when I video-called my dear friends. I miss them so much. But most of the time, I just feel like I'm on autopilot.

Whatever self discovery that you are going through,  I hope you are not too hard on the person you are yesterday, today or tomorrow. I hope you do not define yourself by what you did when you weren't your best self. I hope you look at every day, every hour and every second as an opportunity to strive to be better and get closer to the good. I hope you define yourself by His values and not by a set of human defined values. 

The magnitude of my concerns is incomparable to what is happening to the world. This is not to belittle or put down my concerns but to remind myself that there are time and place for everything - this is the time to heal our world. InsyaAllah, a little kindness goes a long way if we purify our niah. This is a reminder, especially for myself, to purify our niah as we play our part. To remind ourselves the importance of playing the part. To remind me that the concerns that are messing in my head is minute to the grand scheme of things.

I hope when things get messy, take a moment to be in tune with yourself, talk to Him and purify your niah. I hope He brings you calmness and serenity in your heart, bless you with a thankful heart and a mind that sees the beauty in everything. Stay safe everyone :)