You Are In Your Spotlight.

Childhood experience shapes our cake tin. Personally, I believe that the earlier child development is the most crucial time in a person’s life as our initial experience shapes our default idea of life or what is seemingly considered as ‘normal’ to us. It is only through years of exposure and experience that we soon realized that what we had thought was normal, was probably abnormal, at least compared to the common general. Even after realizing it, the initial idea has the ability to keep on haunting us. To put it in a simpler way. The importance of making sure that the childhood development is properly carried out is comparable to how important it is to start our morning in the right way. One can argue on what is right and what is wrong. However, there are things that can be distinguished as unharmful and harmful by common sense. Thus, as the comment say “I woke up on the wrong side of bed” indicates that we started our morning on the wrong foot and we just feel off the whole day. How we grew up in the early days will set our tone, perhaps not forever but it will always echo throughout our life. A child is like a piece of blank paper, what dents it first are the behavior that he copies from his mentors, which are commonly the parents, or what he is able to pick up from his environment. If he was surrounded by people who are never afraid to speak their voice and always speaking in a confident and substantial manner, this image is the default idea of how he should carry himself thus making him a confident person without him realizing until he is put in a mass of people that grew up in a different kind of setting where the opposite character is identified as. Thus, making the behavior a second nature to him. This is not to say that the latter person cannot be changed to a confident person, but even when the writing is erased on the paper, traces of the prior idea is still there. I’m not saying it is impossible to rewrite it but it’s a bit tricky for him to achieve it. That is why every person’s life is idiosyncratic. Everyone is on their own journey.  Everyone experienced different things which leaded to different behaviors. What might be easy for Adam, might be very difficult for Inayah and vice versa. That’s also why I always believe that everyone acts in a certain way for a reason and it is never because of nothing, perhaps they experienced traumatic events that have made them difficult to alter their way of thinking or doing things. When we are able to sympathize and empathize in such way, we are able to be more forgiving towards people and have the desire to understand a person beyond his action. Besides that, when we realized how much of an effect our early years have on us, we are able to identify the root of our weaknesses (although I believe non-trait is purposeless) or of a certain behavior that bothers us, which then will allow us to overcome it from the source. With this awareness and understanding, we will be able to realize that parenting is a huge responsibility. Before you even think of having kids, ask yourself if you are ready to be responsible for another human being? Are you mature enough to not lash your anger and let your emotions get the best of you thus affect your kids? How do you plan to nurture your kids so that they are able to get the best of the best? (For that exact reason, respect your parents! It isn't an easy task) There was this one time, in my class, we were discussing about the increasing rate of youngsters experiencing depression and an elderly commented that we should “pray” (doa) more, it sounded almost like she was accusing that the cause of this is merely because of our generation. It is never wrong to kindly remind a person to be closer to Him but to be pointing finger at only one direction, I beg to differ. We need to realize that when there is an input, there will be an output. We are the output of the previous generation. Thus, we should take that into account as well. However, that’s a subject for another entry.

Bottom line is, everyone grew up in a different way. We are unique individuals. What might be important to you, might not be as important to others. We are all brought up in a different light thus it is natural to see and do things differently from each other. Everyone is in a different journey. If everyone had the same goals and do things in the same way, man it would be a one competitive and monotonous life. What I’m trying to say is, just because a certain path is seemingly great, it does not have to be your path if it does not bring you joy. You need to identify what brings you joy, and you have to be confident of your choices. And if you are at a place where you don’t think you are satisfied then look within the silver lining, enjoy the waves with a smile and do your best in everything, it will make sense one day. Trust Him. You need to let go and let God. You have to choose happy and you have to be happy for others.